Stephen Caver

Cupertino, CA Apple today at a special event held at Apple’s Cupertino Headquarters responded to criticisms that the new MacBook Air was lacking key features such as a DVD drive, ethernet cable connection, and replaceable batteries. Introducing, the MacBook AirCraft.

The MacBook AirCraft presents a new turn for Apple in product philosophy. “We want to make sure every conceivable, antiquated and redundant technology is compatible with the Apple’s products,” said Steve Jobs from today’s special event event. “We will be implementing these new features across Apple’s product line over the next year and a half. We hope our customers bare with us as we roll out these changes,” said Jobs.

The MacBook AirCraft features a Superdrive for running CDs and DVDs, a Floppy Drive, USB and Firewire, as well as DVI output. “A handful of people have floppy disks left over from the early 90s, and we want to make sure that these people are able to find products in Apple’s product line that meet their needs,” said Phil Schiller, Apple’s vice-president of Marketing.

The MacBook AirCraft features an innovative new port hatch which flips down to reveal the features, hiding them from view when not in use.

The MacBook AirCraft was met with considerable critical acclaim as Apple’s stock rose 5 points after the announcement, despite the continuing downturn in the economy. However, some critics have noted that the MacBook AirCraft doesn’t have an 8 inch floppy drive.

“There are at least five people who still have old 8 inch floppy disks sitting around,” said John Dvorak, an industry analyst.

Jobs, however, was not miffed. “We’re making considerable strides to cater to every considerable edge case that people might encounter,” said Jobs. He also noted that no other laptop on the market features a floppy drive. “Baby steps,” noted Jobs, with a wink.